Local Man's CapFlags Credited in Epic Philly Cheesesteak Showdown

PHILADELPHIA, PA — We found him at dawn, surrounded by wax paper and the remnants of what witnesses called "the most audacious cheesesteak consumption event since records began." 

Jim Harker, sporting his trademark cap adorned with dual USA CapFlags, had just completed the impossible: devouring authentic cheesesteaks from both Pat's and Geno's simultaneously while maintaining perfect neutrality in the city's oldest culinary rivalry.

"The flags gave me balance," explained Harker, cheese still clinging to his chin. "One for Pat's, one for Geno's. I couldn't have navigated this delicate political situation without them."

Onlookers report the CapFlags began fluttering independently despite no detectable breeze just as Harker took his final, historic bite.

Even in the savage heart of Philadelphia's cheesesteak territory, one truth remains self-evident: when history is on the line, the right accessories make all the difference.